Where Have I Been for the Last Month?
Okay, take a guess. What’s the most likely reason I haven’t posted for a month, other than I might have died? Answer: I ran into a horny old lady (a lot younger than me) and I’ve been banging her like a cheap drum. Oh Lord, please forgive me for saying that.
There’s nothing cheap about this woman. She is quite good looking, well built, and has only a moderate number of wrinkles. She is well educated, elegant, and believe me, gives a world-class blowjob, something she did without even being asked.
Thankfully, she is also married, which means she has an equal concern about being discreet. Neither of us wants to break up house and home. But her old man doesn’t cut the mustard any more, and she has a very healthy sex appetite. And I do mean very healthy. She loves her spouse, and I love mine. But we both have long-standing sexual frustration. We both need and want physical intimacy.
So, it’s the same old story. I’m a married man who is “cheating” on his wife. What a crock of shit. It’s not my choice to be “cheating.” If she really loved me and cared about my health and welfare, she would encourage me to seek a safe outlet for my libido. I would most certainly do the same for her. But no, her deepest feelings for me are based more on possession and ownership. What she doesn’t realize—and simply cannot hear me say—is that her possessive, uncaring treatment of me causes me enormous pain, suffering, and resentment. It is the greatest danger to our on-going relationship.
Meanwhile, I’m treating myself to a big dose of physical pleasure, sexual healing, and even a little romance. No, it’s not just sex—there is an element of romantic love. I will do my best to not get swept away. And, I’m doing my best to make sure it doesn’t end my marriage. But, if it does, so be it. I have to live with the consequences. That’s just real life in our sexually-repressed society.
Explore posts in the same categories: adultery, infidelity, jealousy, marriage, possessiveness, prostate health
January 13, 2011 at 11:21
I’ve been involved with a married man for (omg!)7 years, but his wife has known from the get go. I insisted that we be out-front -and he wouldn’t have been able to bear the subterfuge, either- but the honesty did not spare us from a lot of pain all around. I still felt (and fought against and denied) no small amount of shame and guilt, even as I stubbornly held onto a dysfunctional relationship. Things are much much healthier now as I’ve learned that I can’t make someone else responsible for my happiness, and since his wife and I broke through and became friends.
But in reading your entertaining blog, especially this post, which I found through the Radical Honesty website, I just want to ask: Where is the “radical honesty” when it comes to this “cheating” game?
April 9, 2011 at 15:58
One of the tenets in Radical Honesty is a quote from Brad Blanton: “If you’re hiding Ann Frank in your attic and the Nazis are beating on your door, lie like hell.” In my case, I tried for nearly 5 years to get wife to allow me to have a discreet girlfriend relationship and be honest about it. but she wouldn’t hear of it. Also, she told me on several occasion that, if I ever had an affair, she didn’t want to know about it. I’ve learned it takes two to be radically honest.